Forgiveness and letting go

Two weekends ago, I went to a 2-Day seminar by Dani Johnson. For those of you who don’t know her, don’t worry, I didn’t either. In fact, had she not had the same name as me, I’d probably not know her either.
Ironically, while googling myself (you never know what’s out there) I found her and wow! She had wayyyyy more Facebook Fans than me! (like 100,000 more!) Who is this woman?!

I was intrigued and found out about her story, she grew up in an unstable home, was pregnant at 17, homeless and suicidal. She turned everything around and became a millionaire, a radio talk show host, a business owner of 15 business and HUGE philanthropist and was on the season premiere of “Secret Millionaire” last season!!

I could definitely relate to her earlier life story, in fact, a little too much. As I learned more about her, the more I wanted to know. It turned out, she was going to be in Dallas in January, so I decided, last minute, to go.

The workshop was called “First Steps to Success” and you could say it was a bit of a financial seminar, but much more than that. It was about how to have success in all areas of life: relationships, finances, business, etc.

One of the exercises we had to do was to learn to FORGIVE.
We were told to close our eyes and think of that ONE PERSON that we haven’t forgiven, and to picture walking up to them and telling them we forgive them and we release them.

For me, there were two people…. but wait… there were THREE.
The one person that I found hardest to forgive, was ME.

I realized this again today (it’s a sign) when one of the lovely ladies at sweatybettiesfitness.com posted her mantra for today which was: I forgive myself of any and all past mistakes

FORGIVE

How often we end up STUCK. Stuck in our relationships. Stuck in our friendships. Stuck in our finances. Stuck in our own crap! because we can’t let go of our own mistakes?!

I sit here thinking, “I’m not stuck” but who am I fooling?
There are days (still) where I beat myself up for ALL kinds of things!! Here are a few– familiar to anyone?

  • I should have saved all that money when I was waitressing and making tons of cash, then I’d be rich now!
  • I should have stopped competing earlier and my body wouldn’t be a mess
  • I shouldn’t have eaten that whole (fill in the blank) I would be 5 lbs lighter by now!
  • I shouldn’t have invested and then changed my investments out of fear
  • I shouldn’t have been such a bad wife during Christmas, I’m such a brat. My husband deserves better.
  • I should have been smarter about things so I wouldn’t have gotten taken advantage of.

See where this goes? I mean, dang! Just reading it makes me realize how detrimental it is!!
How can I make MORE money, if I’m still thinking about all the money I wished I had saved and that I lost in the economic downturn? Thats not going to bring me more financial stability!
How can I work on getting my body healthier, if I’m always thinking about how I wished I never dieted hard in the first place and then beat myself up for overeating later?! That’s not going to help me make healthy choices!

How can I be a good wife and friend when I’m telling myself people deserve better?! That’s inconsistent!

How can I make better decisions about partnerships and business relationships, if I keep thinking that I will just get taken advantage of? I can’t!
Wow. Is it ironic, that it was easier for me to forgive the people that abused me or took advantage of me? Yet, I won’t let myself off the hook?
What might you still be beating yourself up over? What is it time to let go of and forgive?
Leave it in the comments.. or maybe just tell me that its all me. haha.

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Comments

  1. Thanks so much for this! You know the things I went through and some of the resentment I had with certain people. This is such a great blog and it is so true. We will not get ahead if we keep saying the we should’ve done this or that;)

  2. Brianne McRitchie says:

    It is time to let go and forgive myself for struggling with being diagnosed with Celiac. I always felt silly for being mad or sad about this disease and never accepted how much it would really change. I forgive myself for struggling through that process, and how I can properly heal emotionally from this diagnosis that I still don’t fully understand why I am the one to get this disease.

    • man, Brianne, thats a tough one! It is easy to get mad and angry for getting a disease or being diagnosed with something like that. I encourage you to just think about what you can do instead of being bitter about what you can’t. I def would feel angry or sad too. time to acknowledge it and move on. Big hugs!

  3. Wow this is so true it hurts =( I have beat myself up over everything from being terrible at finances to being a bad mom for years and years. It was part of the reason I had gained and maintained such a high weight for all of my adult life. It took a car accident and a financial breakdown for me to see how the self loathing was killing me and my family. I swallowed my pride, started to slowly forgive and ask forgiveness and began a new journey. I started my own blog page on facebook to help with it all. I still find myself holding onto the past and not letting go of things. It is a daily struggle. You can’t change a lifetime of behavior overnight, so I take it day by day.

    Thank you for this… It was another reason to let go and forgive =)

  4. thanks! This has been a real eye opener, I need to firgive myself for hurting my ex husband. I only now realise that alot of the baggage and reactions that cause friction with my partner now are caused by my guilt from hurting my last partner and constant fear that I will hurt the new guy – and that is counter productive! So I begin today, forgiving myself.

  5. Thank you girl i sure needed to read this today. I turn 25 next week, and am hardly half way through my Business degree. I have been beating myself up a lot lately about how i shouldn’t have taken so much time off from school before i went back, and how i should be done already, and getting mad at myself about how much time i actually have left compared to my friends. I need to forgive myself for my past mistakes. I am going to work on it every day from now on :) i have to. thank you!

  6. Tina Hoff says:

    This has been a recurring theme in my life (all 42 years of it) — so I need this reminder about every 10 minutes. I grew up an only child w/2 unhappy parents in a tension-filled house full of criticism, where nothing was ever good enough. There’s a lot more to that story, but suffice it to say I am very very good at pushing myself (do more, work harder, give more, push push push) but not good at taking compliments, trusting anyone else to care for me (including my husband), or believing that I’m good enough / amazing enough or that I’ve “done enough” to be worthy.

    I keep getting little reminders of this issue, like someone is trying to tell me to stop and listen. Right now I have some bulging cervical discs, and the PT and ortho say I have “reached the limit” of my body’s capabilities when it comes to strength training. I don’t wanna hear that. I wanna push more. But again, I’m faced with evaluating why this is so hard, what else do I need to address, deal with…? Why is it so hard for me to have a “limit”?!?

    Hit home for me, girl. You are NOT alone. In fact, it’s probably really REALLY crowded in here. :)

  7. sara weldon says:

    Danny- a million thanks! This was just what i needed today. I heard myself and so much of my own self inflicted blame in everything you wrote. I’ve shared with you my similar haelth issues and you are so right, I need to forgive myself THEN my body can truly heal.

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